My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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