tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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