After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
