what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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