If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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