He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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