when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
