i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize