you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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