I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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