i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
