He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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