Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize