this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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