Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am available for nakedness
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
