so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I would ride that face into the sunset
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
