I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
