sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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