Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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