I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
