I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
