this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
