I'm lost and stupid without you.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
