i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
only you would photoshop your dick
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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