I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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