matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
