I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
