so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize