He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
birth control should be required to get into college
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
