he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
