She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
