Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
