My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize