chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
