i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
