Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we're making bets on your personal life
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
