I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
