Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize