ya dads aren't the best wingmen
hell yes lets make some ravioli
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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