whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
