Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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