I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
