apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
