Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
