He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
