i need an iv and a liver transplant
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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