I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
