At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
