Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
