Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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