Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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