I've blown a few things in my day
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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