Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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