Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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