just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
not ubering you a puppy
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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