hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
