hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
