well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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