You're so nebulous sometimes
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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