dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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