Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
