Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
