If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
foreskin is a definite game changer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
