Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
