At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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