It's Friday. Sex?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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